I was eating dinner today in the commons and I saw this girl with pajamas on holding a teddy bear, eating alone. I have never seen this before and it intrigued me. The fact that she was so comfortable with who she was to carry this teddy bear around even when she went to get some more food. I remember having a conversation with her some time ago. I could tell that she didn't remember by the way she responded to my greeting. What I remember from that conversation is that she is a neuroscience major. As I observed her I noticed how spritely she was, very content with being in her on bubble. While I sat, observably tense from the fact that I too was eating alone. I glanced around to observe others who were also eating alone. They seemed just as content as the young girl cuddling the plush toy. Why did I feel so uncomfortable sitting alone? I am, for the most part, alone for most of the day and I find it very satisfying. I am an introvert and I enjoy my time to myself. But, the only time that I feel “alone” is when I eat. With the exception of breakfast, I feel a very unsettling sense of awkwardness when I eat alone in public. Just the word "alone" connotes something undesirable. However, there is one reason why I choose to eat alone. It saves times! Waiting on someone else to arrive and then sitting and talking for 30 to 60 minutes afterward does not seem effective to me in any way. I love to sit with someone who I don't know particularly well and get to know them at a deeper level, but I also love eating and getting back to the task at hand. I don't think this post is about eating. I think that eating provide a nice avenue into what I really want to explore. However, that will have to wait for another day. Consider this as a little rant and invite yourself to eat with me sometime.
P.S. To clarify the breakfast comment, I don’t like to talk in the mornings. It is not because I’m not a morning person it is because I appreciate the silence of a new day. I would rather sit alone and stare out the window than be forced to carrier on an unsolicited conversation. But if you do choose to sit down I will be very courteous and speak with you. While other times I will politely ask you to eat somewhere else. (Sorry to those who have received the latter, nothing personal)
