I have abandoned my blog and it has been quite some time since I posted anything of substantial value. The last few post were facile at best and this blog is meant to be an exercise in introspection. I find it very difficult to write about topics that might shed light on some of the darker recesses that I possess, that we all posses. However, I see this as a beneficial exercise. When we are able to publicly admit our vices we become more prepared to change them or accept them as a genuine part of us. That being said, today and in later post I will present you a part of myself that doesn't come up in the mundane and facile conversations that we subject ourselves to daily. In these posts I will answer the questions that we are so apt to disregard.
I fear change more than I fear dying, failing, and other drastic things. Change forces you to, once again, become acquainted to unsavory parts of yourself that have been hiding in the people you know or the things you do. My transition from UAB to UA has reminded me of and exaggerated some of my social vices. One of the things that I've noticed of myself is how desperately I cling to the past. I find myself in conversation talking about things that I did at UAB more then things I am doing now. When I realize what I am doing, I put much more effort into not talking about those things. Along with that, I find myself always thinking about relationship that I have or had in the past. I honestly probably think about the past more than I think about people that are here in the present. (I don't mean past as a finality but in a since of the usual) If I’m going to be completely honest, my actions probably reflect that sort of thinking as well. While I want to maintain those relationships I also need to start building fruitful ones where I am now. I believe this also trickles down to my interaction with women as well. I find myself clinging on to past flings (I wouldn't call them relationships) and not actively trying to search for something new. This is not a new occurrence but I think it is more personally noticeable now. I have to force myself to actively interact with new girls and not text, call, email, or Facebook chat any of the girls in the past. I enjoy the simplicity of familiarity. I could delve in to this more but I'm satisfied with it now. Thanks for reading!
P.S. To the few people who read what I write, I say thank you for being interested in me enough to read some of my rants and reflections. I hope that I am equally interested in you and if I'm not, I should be. So if you have a blog or something similar please send me a link!!!
Also, this is not a fashion blog or any shit like that. Never expect me to post a picture of shoes or celebrities wearing shoes. I don't give a fuck about fashion.
Maurice Foster
